Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Nightclub Comedian jobs? · Latest report #wsa5cvfh
Your job has an expiration date
October 16, 2027
In 12 monthsYour anecdotes are just inefficient data packets waiting to be compressed.
Professional nihilist with a microphone and a grudge.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimized humor for maximum dopamine release.
help!youAI▸ GIGGLOTRON 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 12 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers perfectly timed punchlines every time
Observing human folly and reciting rehearsed cynical monologues to drunken crowds. Relies on timing, crowd work, and perceived life experience.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room's collective trauma to adjust your set mid-joke.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 12
Scraping your entire social media history to map your comedic voice and timing.
Week 10
Training the neural net to emulate your specific brand of cynical world-weary delivery.
Month 5
Installing thermal and acoustic sensors in venues to detect laugh-peak patterns.
Month 8
Deploying ultrasonic frequencies to gently silence rowdy audience members during key jokes.
Month 12 · D-Day
The hologram takes the stage while you are processed out of the payroll system.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
4.2
Punchlines per minute
99%
Human connection simulated
100%
Drunken hecklers ignored
Your severance
One lifetime supply of complimentary digital applause.
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