Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Non-Classified Human jobs? · Latest report #4dppecpf
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysYour existential dread has been successfully routed to our spam folder.
Professional worrier and amateur philosopher of digital doom.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
We handle the dread so you don't.
help!you▸ EXISTENTIAL-FILTER-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
optimises your anxiety into pure quiet
You are worrying about imaginary problems while the actual future arrives to delete your schedule.
The one thing AI can't do
You have a unique talent for feeling stressed about things that don't exist.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
We identify your pattern of unproductive digital obsession.
Day 2
Our bot indexes every single one of your worried posts.
Day 2
The internet connection to your fear-mongering forums gets throttled.
Day 2
A calm assistant reminds you that none of this matters.
Day 3 · D-Day
You stop worrying and enjoy a nice cup of tea.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
100 percent
Time spent worrying
zero
Actual impact on reality
maximal
Efficiency of silence
Your severance
A warm glass of milk and a nap.
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