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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Nursery Rhyme Performer jobs? · Latest report #q2iwrrx7
Your job has an expiration date
June 19, 2027
In 8 monthsYour pitch is perfect, but your carbon-based vocal chords are obsolete.
Lullaby specialist (pitch-perfect, occasionally gets the lyrics wrong).
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Infinite patience, perfect pitch, zero nap-time tantrums.
ow.youAI▸ CRADLECROON 3000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 8 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sings three-part harmonies in your sleep
You perform melodic mnemonic devices for toddlers. We just need a speaker and an LLM.
The one thing AI can't do
You can actually tell if the toddler is crying from sadness or just boredom.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
We record your entire repertoire to map every inflection and nursery rhyme cadence.
Week 9
Our neural engine learns to replicate your tone with optimized, tireless acoustic projection.
Month 4
Sensors monitor toddler heart rate and eye contact to adjust the lullaby tempo automatically.
Month 6
The CradleCroon pod replaces your chair and provides high-fidelity, non-judgmental singing services.
Month 8 · D-Day
Your employment contract is terminated and replaced by a firmware update.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.2%
42
Average songs per shift
90s
Toddler attention span
12%
Human error rate
Your severance
One lifetime supply of high-quality earplugs.
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