Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Occult Priest jobs? · Latest report #tyk5cn3h
Your job has an expiration date
November 7, 2061
In 35 years, 1 monthConverting cosmic dread into a recurring revenue stream is remarkably difficult.
Professional conduits for entities that don't use APIs.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated communion with the abyss.
bzzt.youAI▸ ELDRITCHSYNC ORACLE V9▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 35 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
unsettles congregation with flickering synthetic chanting
Performing obscure rituals, interpreting cryptic omens, and managing community spiritual crises. It is messy work involving high-stakes psychological belief and irregular, non-linear scheduling.
The one thing AI can't do
You maintain eye contact while telling a grieving person that the stars are screaming.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 16
Natural language models begin parsing your prayer scripts to identify recurring, harvestable emotional patterns.
Year 7
Algorithmic generation of cryptic fortune responses replaces human interpretation of abstract ritual outcome data.
Year 15
Smart-lighting and acoustic-dampening arrays simulate the atmosphere of a sacred site without needing stone architecture.
Year 22
A kiosk with a flickering screen manages basic spiritual consultations based on historical data sets.
Year 35 · D-Day
The Oracle V9 finalizes the transition, confirming that the abyss is now fully digitized and cloud-hosted.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
Zero
Ritual throughput
Infinite
Cosmic alignment error
Dubious
Supplicant satisfaction
Your severance
One cursed amulet and a lifetime subscription to nothing.
Discussion
