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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Ocean Sunfish Scratcher jobs? · Latest report #kxn56uy9
Your job has an expiration date
October 12, 2066
In 40 yearsYou are currently losing a war of attrition against marine parasite biology.
Professional tickler of giant, flat, confused ocean pancakes.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Tactical exfoliation for giant, derpy fish.
oof.you▸ MOLA-SCRUB HYDRO-DRONE V9▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 40 YEARSAI's Special Power
calms giant fish with sub-frequency pulses
You manually scrape crustacean parasites from Mola mola dermal layers. It involves extreme buoyancy control and navigating open-ocean aquatic environments.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle annoyance of a sunfish through its erratic fin flutter patterns.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Deploy high-resolution vision sensors to identify itchy dermal zones on local Mola populations.
Year 2.7
Install deep-sea sonar beacons that lure sunfish to fixed, non-human-operated cleaning stations.
Year 14
Deploy submersible gantry systems that provide autonomous, pressure-regulated brushing for floating fish.
Year 27
Optimize pressure-sensitive bristles using machine learning to maximize fish-derived dopamine production.
Year 40 · D-Day
Remove the human from the ocean; the autonomous cleaning grid now manages all oceanic itch relief.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
42
Parasites removed per dive
100%
Sunfish awkward eye contact
1000
Waterlogged fingers per annum
Your severance
One high-quality wetsuit and a bucket of kelp.
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