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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Offensive Line Coach jobs? · Latest report #gyne3ea8
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsTeaching giants how to hold is a hobby, not a career.
Professional screamer at giants who hate geometry
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect blocking angles delivered via retinal implant.
squeeze.youAI▸ SNAPSYNC TACTICIAN 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calibrates blocking angles in real time
You drill blocking schemes into behemoths who forget their assignments the moment the whistle blows. Your shouting is simply inefficient data transmission.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still look a three-hundred-pound man in the eye and make him care.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 12
Vision models instantly map defensive schemes and identify every blocking error on high-definition game tape.
Month 8
Players wear smart visors that overlay the exact correct footwork and hand placement in real time.
Month 18
Neural networks calculate optimal protection schemes based on defensive alignment before the quarterback even lines up.
Year 2.3
Automated jerseys provide physical pulses if a lineman drifts from his assigned blocking path during practice.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The coach is removed from the sideline as the stadium orchestrates alignment via secure, sub-millisecond wireless feeds.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
3.4
Average false starts per game
110dB
Decibels of wasted shouting
42%
Percentage of plays ruined by bad angles
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to neutral-site preseason games.
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