Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Office Coffee Specialist jobs? · Latest report #b7fsafyp
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour proprietary knowledge of a broken machine is not a career strategy.
Gatekeeper of the breakroom’s most temperamental mechanical hazard.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Consistent caffeine without the human drama.
toast.youAI▸ BREWMASTER AI-7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
removes the need for human intervention
You perform daily maintenance on a temperamental office coffee machine. You are the only person who understands its cryptic, error-prone workflow.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still physically hit the machine in exactly the right spot.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 8
Retrofitting your beloved machine with vision sensors to monitor its error-prone mechanical cycles.
Month 6
Encoding your top-secret button combo into a simple microcontroller that ignores human error.
Month 12
Implementing automated chemical cleaning routines that run while employees are asleep.
Month 17
Connecting the machine to the office calendar to pre-brew before meetings start.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Finalizing the replacement and recycling the machine you once considered a personality trait.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
Optimized
Espresso flow rate
Zero
Human emotional baggage
None
Descaling downtime
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lukewarm instant coffee granules.
Discussion
