Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Office Runner jobs? · Latest report #kgcw73ng
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour career as a glorified professional errand-doer is ending soon.
Professional wanderer of hallways and bearer of lattes.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Fulfilling your menial requests without the small talk.
glub.youAI▸ FETCHBOT COURIER 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers hot coffee to desks silently
You shuffle coffee, paper, and packages for people who could do it themselves. You are an expensive logistics error.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly which meeting is worth crashing with a fresh latte.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 7
The kitchen gets automated grinders linked directly to meeting room calendars.
Month 7
Sensors report paper levels and jams directly to the maintenance cloud.
Month 13
Wheeled bots begin moving packages from the lobby to individual desks.
Month 20
Buildings are scanned to ensure robots navigate furniture paths flawlessly.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The final human errand-runner is replaced by a fleet of mobile lockers.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
0.04 percent
Average coffee spillage
12400 steps
Steps wasted per day
100 percent
Coffee temperature accuracy
Your severance
A lifetime supply of instant coffee crystals.
Discussion
