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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Olympic Figure Skater jobs? · Latest report #ujckfyxt
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthGravity is the only judge you cannot bribe with a triple axel.
Professional athlete, master of the quadruple toe loop.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect ice geometry, zero broken bones.
ow.youAI▸ GLISSADE-OS V4.2▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
executes mathematically perfect quadruple jumps
You spend decades mastering edge control and rotational force on ice. Judges score your artistic expression and technical jumps.
The one thing AI can't do
You can convey genuine emotional longing through a simple, shaky landing on cold ice.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Wearables track your exact limb trajectory to build our motion library.
Month 10
Precision robotics replace manual sharpening with laser-calibrated blade geometry.
Year 2
Drones hover to provide real-time feedback on your center of gravity.
Year 2.8
Bipedal platforms replicate your muscle memory with cold, hydraulic efficiency.
Year 4 · D-Day
The judges stop watching humans and switch to our scoring metrics.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
42
Average falls per season
180
Seconds of aesthetic grace
350k
Hardware cost per skate
Your severance
Two custom-fitted ice skates for your home office.
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