Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Onboarding Lead jobs? · Latest report #8ehqf9kx
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou turn spreadsheets into misery for clients who do not exist.
Professional email-forwarder and spreadsheet-bureaucrat.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Frictionless integration for souls that need no human.









split.youAI▸ ONBOARDER-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends passive-aggressive automated follow-up emails
You chase partners for API keys and track their integration progress through endless emails. You are a glorified clipboard.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a client is lying about their technical limitations over the phone.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 3
Smart templates replace your manual drafting of onboarding guides.
Month 4
Integrations track their own progress without you hovering.
Month 9
Software automatically validates keys without a human check.
Month 15
AI answers client integration questions instantly.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system runs itself and you are finally free.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
42
Emails per integration
18
Clients ghosted monthly
89%
Self-worth degradation rate
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a meditation app.
Discussion