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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Onboarding Manager jobs? · Latest report #qbznpde4
Your job has an expiration date
August 31, 2027
In 10 monthsYour calendar invites are just a glorified countdown to your own obsolescence.
Herder of cats, scheduler of souls, master of Slides.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated welcome packets that never need coffee.
bzzt.youAI▸ SYNCBOT ONBOARDER 5000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates welcome emails across four time zones
You chase new hires to finish their paperwork and run slide decks during morning welcome calls.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a new hire is actually confused instead of just hungover.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 3
Smart agents start drafting your welcome emails automatically.
Month 3
Algorithms handle all calendar invites for onboarding sessions.
Month 6
Self-serve modules replace your live welcome presentations.
Month 9
Central software tracks all new hire document completion.
Month 10 · D-Day
The system finishes the transition and closes your account.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
14 days
Average onboarding time
98 percent
Slide deck fatigue
22
Meaningless meetings per week
Your severance
A LinkedIn badge that says you are a thought leader.
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