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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Oracle Database Administrator jobs? · Latest report #hi3taafg
Your job has an expiration date
May 26, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour query optimizer is just a fancy way of saying goodbye.
SQL master (currently drowning in legacy table constraints)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Database uptime without the human error.
bzzt.youAI▸ SQL-SENTINEL 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates index rebalancing while you sleep
You monitor database health, tune complex SQL queries, and patch enterprise server infrastructure during sleepless weekend maintenance windows.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the production database crashed during the migration at 3am.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors identify query bottlenecks faster than your manual diagnostic scripts.
Month 4
Autonomous agents handle security updates without taking the system offline.
Month 8
AI models rewrite inefficient SQL execution plans in real-time.
Month 13
Cloud-native storage handles recovery without needing human oversight.
Month 19 · D-Day
The legacy DBA role is decommissioned to preserve corporate sanity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
Zero
Weekend maintenance hours
Microseconds
Average query latency
None
Unread log files
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our error log archive.
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