Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Ordained Priest jobs? · Latest report #v37948se
Your job has an expiration date
October 12, 2066
In 40 yearsOur spectral analysis model is currently flagging your theology as non-deterministic.
Steward of ancient rituals in a cloud-native world.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Systematic holiness at a fraction of the cost.
oof.youAI▸ ECTO-COMPLIANCE UNIT V1▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 40 YEARSAI's Special Power
delivers automated sermons with perfect emotional inflection
You perform sacraments and spiritual counseling for congregants. You also manage parish administrative tasks and liturgy.
The one thing AI can't do
You can offer authentic presence during a crisis that hardware simply cannot replicate.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 12
An app handles all booking and record-keeping for your sacraments.
Year 5
Large language models provide theological counsel to your congregants instantly.
Year 14
Remote projection systems lead mass to empty or remote churches.
Year 22
IoT sensors and actuators handle all church maintenance and lighting.
Year 40 · D-Day
A centralized server cluster permanently archives the concept of human priesthood.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4000
Confessions processed per second
0.0%
Liturgical error rate
Non-quantifiable
Exorcism resolution probability
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a silent retreat in Italy.
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