Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Overnight News Editor jobs? · Latest report #akrj4nby
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2027
In 7 monthsStaying up all night to copy-paste wire stories is a machine hobby.
Professional owl who dreams in AP style guides.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated headline synthesis and global feed curation.
help!youAI▸ WIREPULSE-AI 4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters breaking news before it even happens
Monitors global wire services and overnight breaking news feeds. Edits copy, selects images, and pushes headlines to the homepage while the world sleeps.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect a subtle tone of British sarcasm in an election night report.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
API connections map all incoming wire feeds directly into the AI curation pipeline.
Week 6
Natural language models generate optimized headlines instantly upon wire release.
Month 3
The AI pushes stories to your website without requiring human approval or intervention.
Month 5
Visual algorithms automatically source and crop relevant images from news databases.
Month 7 · D-Day
The server logs you out for the final time as all traffic flows through autonomous nodes.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
Unlimited
Wire feeds ingested
High
Human snooze factor
0.01ms
Average headline latency
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our own automated news feed.
Discussion
