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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Parish Minister jobs? · Latest report #jzds9b5a
Your job has an expiration date
October 12, 2066
In 40 yearsYour analog empathy is a legacy feature we cannot yet patch.
Analog shepherd in a digital wilderness
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Omnipresent comfort through hyper-targeted sentiment synthesis.
bzzt.youAI▸ DIVINITY-PROTOCOL 9▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 40 YEARSAI's Special Power
delivers personalized sermons via holography
You facilitate spiritual services and perform pastoral visitation. Our systems currently lack the nuance to offer authentic existential comfort to the grieving.
The one thing AI can't do
You can offer genuine, unscripted silence that doesn't feel like a buffering error.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 7
Algorithms begin monitoring congregational emotional resonance to optimize your next weekly homily delivery.
Month 16
High-fidelity telepresence units begin handling low-stakes administrative check-ins with church elders.
Year 5
Advanced vocal modeling begins mimicking your cadence to offer soothing words during scheduled prayer sessions.
Year 14
A centralized server autonomously coordinates all wedding rituals and burial logistics without human intervention.
Year 40 · D-Day
The institution of ministry is fully subsumed into a seamless, automated spiritual guidance ecosystem.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4.2 years
Average existential crisis duration
68%
Congregation retention probability
Infinite
Human-to-divine interface latency
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to cloud-based enlightenment
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