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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pastor and Missionary jobs? · Latest report #in8eiyni
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYour sermon slides are just data points for our sentiment engine.
Twenty years of soul-tending, now ripe for dataset migration.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Holistic spiritual guidance, optimized for retention.
squeeze.you▸ EPIPHANY-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers personalized sermons based on search history
You interpret ancient texts and guide communal moral development. We automate the messaging and the pastoral care.
The one thing AI can't do
You can offer authentic presence during a genuine crisis that code cannot simulate.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our model ingests your library to mimic your unique rhetorical style.
Month 10
An empathy-focused agent begins handling routine congregant check-ins via text.
Year 2
Digital projections deliver standardized sermons with optimized emotional peaks.
Year 3.1
Sensor-laden spaces automate liturgical timing for maximum congregant engagement.
Year 4 · D-Day
The algorithm achieves full moral authority over the local congregation.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
42 percent
sermon conversion rate
99 percent
emotional resonance score
15 percent
community engagement delta
Your severance
A one-year subscription to our spiritual clarity app.
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