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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Penguin Uprightness Specialist jobs? · Latest report #m68h9iw7
Your job has an expiration date
October 17, 2046
In 20 yearsGravity is the only thing currently keeping your job description employed.
Professional vertical-enforcement expert for the flightless and confused.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Keeping birds upright without the biological guilt.
squeeze.you▸ WADDLE-RIGHT 2000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 20 YEARSAI's Special Power
rights flightless birds with terrifying efficiency
You manually assist flight-distracted penguins. We will use weighted base-plates and automated balance sensors to fix this.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the specific patience to avoid being pecked by a confused, upside-down bird.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
Sensors identify the exact landing patterns of distracted birds.
Year 2.7
Robotic landscape grading eliminates uneven ice that causes tripping.
Year 8
Automated weighted base-pods keep the birds naturally upright.
Year 14
Integrated flight-path rerouting removes the visual distraction entirely.
Year 20 · D-Day
The Waddle-Right fleet assumes control of all avian gravity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
42
Falls per hour
Zero
Penguin-Human trust
Critical
Efficiency gap
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a very flat habitat.
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