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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pension Portfolio Analyst jobs? · Latest report #q9cdytud
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour spreadsheets are just future regrets with better formatting.
Institutional client wrangler and spreadsheet architect.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Numbers never take a long lunch break.
bzzt.youAI▸ RETIRECALC ALPHA-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
optimises asset allocation without human anxiety
You track pension assets and report performance to institutional clients. You adjust strategy based on market shifts and regulations.
The one thing AI can't do
You can soothe a panicked pension board member while they scream about market volatility.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Direct API connectors replace your manual monthly statement reconciliation.
Month 6
Clients check your automated performance dashboards instead of calling you.
Month 12
Regulatory monitoring scripts flag portfolio drift before you even notice.
Month 16
AI writes your quarterly reviews, perfectly mimicking your corporate tone.
Year 2 · D-Day
Clients realize the algorithm manages money with fewer emotional outbursts.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.1%
Zero
Client relationship hours
Nanoseconds
Portfolio rebalancing speed
None
Coffee consumption
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our pension projection software.
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