Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Performance Analytics Manager jobs? · Latest report #q36uudhv
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsTurning human misery into pivot tables is about to get automated.
Expert at making declining arrests look like strategic victory.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying chaos with cold machine logic.
squeeze.youAI▸ STATCOP SENTINEL V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
adjusts crime thresholds to hit quotas
You track crime trends and police efficiency metrics to justify budget increases and operational strategy shifts.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a commissioner with a straight face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors pull field logs directly into databases without your intervention.
Month 5
The AI generates your weekly reports before you even arrive.
Month 13
Algorithms argue for police funding better than any human manager.
Year 1.9
The system presents your slide decks directly to the board.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The AI flags your position as statistically redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
42 files
Spreadsheets per week
180 daily
Minutes spent justifying low stats
99 percent
Budget increase requests
Your severance
One free Excel license for life.
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