Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Performance Engineer jobs? · Latest report #rcc99256
Your job has an expiration date
December 7, 2027
In 13 monthsYou optimize for nanoseconds while we optimize you into unemployment.
High-octane debugger of distributed system nightmares.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Faster than your best commit.
ow.youAI▸ LATENCYLORD-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 13 MONTHSAI's Special Power
auto-tunes kernel parameters during peak traffic
You hunt down latency bottlenecks in production systems. You read logs and tweak configs to improve response times.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a random production spike is just a bad query.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 3
AI identifies patterns in your logs faster than any human.
Month 3
Smart agents adjust configs without your manual intervention.
Month 6
Virtual load tests run continuously, removing the manual work.
Month 10
The system patches its own performance bottlenecks automatically.
Month 13 · D-Day
The machine manages all performance metrics, making you officially redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
Infinite
ms of latency reduced
4 billion
average log lines read
Too many
caffeinated hours survived
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium dark roast coffee beans.
Discussion
