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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Performance Engineering Manager jobs? · Latest report #q2umf87f
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYou optimize systems until your own existence becomes a bottleneck.
Professional architect of complex systems and human anxiety
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated latency annihilation for complex stacks
bzzt.you▸ PERFMETRIC CORE 7.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
replaces status meetings with instant diagnostic logs
Coordinates system performance profiling and cloud cost remediation. Manages engineering team output through sprint planning and latency reduction metrics.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the production environment caught fire at 3am to stakeholders.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Integration of continuous profiling agents to map every function call path without human oversight.
Month 7
Machine learning models take over resource allocation decisions to optimize spend and infra efficiency.
Month 15
Task management software dynamically assigns tickets based on developer throughput and system stability needs.
Year 1.9
Autonomous agents resolve infrastructure regressions by rolling back to known stable states instantly.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The department is folded into a single recursive architecture dashboard, leaving you entirely redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
99.99%
ms latency reduction
100%
human management overhead
zero
sprint planning bias
Your severance
One free trial of the legacy cloud hosting service.
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