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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Performance Software Engineer jobs? · Latest report #uzjzwxja
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsYou gatekeep releases, but your terminal is the only lock left.
Gatekeeping throughput one latency spike at a time.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Gatekeeping the gates, better than you ever did.
brr.you▸ REGRESS-X 4000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
auto-approves builds after passing thermal stress tests
You run benchmarks on flash storage drives to catch regressions. Then you block production until performance numbers match.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why a specific kernel patch triggers silent flash garbage collection cycles.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors begin logging every performance deviation you currently track manually.
Month 4
The AI starts identifying exactly which code commit caused the latency spike.
Month 8
Deployment pipelines gain the ability to reject builds without your signature.
Month 12
Neural nets predict performance regressions before you even write the test.
Month 14 · D-Day
The gatekeeper service replaces you entirely with a faster decision engine.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.1%
Instant
Regression detection speed
Zero
Human ego buffer
All
Release blockers solved
Your severance
One free subscription to a cloud-based stress-testing suite.
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