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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pet Cremator jobs? · Latest report #kfwq6pze
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYou turn loved ones into ash and profit; we prefer efficiency.
Master of high-heat closures and respectful final departures.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated afterlife thermal management systems
bzzt.youAI▸ PYROPROCESSOR V-9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
processes remains without needing any lunch breaks
You operate high-heat incineration chambers for animal remains. You manage manual charging, temperature monitoring, and ash processing.
The one thing AI can't do
You can offer genuine, heavy-hearted silence that machines simply cannot simulate with enough grace.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors monitor temperature fluctuations and venting efficiency in real-time.
Month 12
A gantry-arm system replaces manual loading of remains into chambers.
Year 2
Integrated machines grind remains to fine ash without human intervention.
Year 3
Software manages all inventory tracking and regulatory compliance reports automatically.
Year 4 · D-Day
The facility runs fully lights-out with zero human operators present.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
0.1 percent
Thermal variance
45 minutes
Average cycle
Non-zero
Manual errors
Your severance
A lifetime supply of biodegradable, guilt-free urns.
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