Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pet Crematorium Technician jobs? · Latest report #s5duinxk
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsTurning grief into ash is the most inefficient business model ever.
Small-scale incinerator operator and professional sympathizer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated mourning with zero residual emotion.
stretchy.youAI▸ CREM-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters ashes with robotic precision
Operating high-temperature incineration chambers for small animals and managing the delicate collection of remains for grieving owners.
The one thing AI can't do
You provide the necessary lie that the transition was peaceful for the owner.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Software automates all legal paperwork and regulatory filing requirements.
Month 5
Thermal sensors calibrate the furnace precisely for every unique mass.
Month 13
Pneumatic arms manage safe loading of chambers without human interaction.
Year 2.2
Integrated grinders turn remains to fine powder automatically within sealed cells.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The unit runs itself while owners collect urns from a locker.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
20 grams
Average ash yield
4 minutes
Cleanup time
0 percent
Empathy simulation
Your severance
A lifetime supply of biodegradable urns.
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