Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pet Shop Assistant jobs? · Latest report #scvr7meu
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2029
In 3 yearsYou spend your day cleaning cages for minimum wage.
Expert in explaining why the lizard isn't moving.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Feeding every creature while you take a hike.
sluurp.you▸ CRITTER-CARE UNIT 400▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
restocks kibble while ignoring customer questions
You stock shelves, feed small animals, and explain to customers why a goldfish isn't a long-term commitment.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the specific ability to discern if a hamster is playing dead or genuinely expired.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Shelf sensors track every bag of kibble for you.
Month 5
Robot dispensers handle the feeding schedules for all small animals.
Month 13
Self-cleaning enclosures remove the need for daily waste scooping.
Year 1.9
Touchscreens replace your advice on which goldfish food is best.
Year 3 · D-Day
The store operates autonomously while you are permanently retired.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
Unlimited
Hamster wheel speed
Daily
Accidental bite frequency
Zero for bots
Bagged food weight
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium hamster bedding.
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