Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Petty Thief jobs? · Latest report #unbbzrkd
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour low-stakes kleptomania is about to be outclassed by high-definition surveillance.
Amateur opportunist with a penchant for poorly secured retail.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total visibility makes your grab-and-run obsolete.
stretchy.youAI▸ SENTINEL-5 SECURITY GRID▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
locks every door before you reach it
You identify vulnerable goods, bypass security barriers, and exit the premises undetected.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find the one blind spot in a legacy camera system.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 7
Store layouts are uploaded to cloud servers for total coverage.
Month 7
AI models detect your suspicious loitering before you even start.
Month 13
Smart locks and weight-sensitive shelves stop physical removal instantly.
Month 19
Local authorities receive your digital identity before you exit.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Total loss of anonymity ends the career of petty theft.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
12 mph
Average escape speed
0.04 seconds
Detection latency
Falling fast
Successful acquisition rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our prison-grade surveillance feed.
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