Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Philanthropy Manager jobs? · Latest report #6x4a87cp
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou convert rich people's guilt into hospital wings via expensive lunches.
Professional emotional investment banker for medical equipment.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated guilt induction for higher yield.
splat.you▸ DONORBOT WEALTH-EXTRACTOR 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
triggers automatic guilt-tripping emails on weekends
You cultivate high-net-worth donors to secure massive capital gifts for hospital expansion and community healthcare programs.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact second a donor is ready to sign the check.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 7
The CRM starts logging donor sentiment automatically without your input.
Week 12
AI-generated letters replace your manual drafts for small-tier donors.
Month 8
Algorithms identify which donors are likely to gift after specific medical milestones.
Month 14
Automated video avatars start conducting personalized video calls with high-net-worth prospects.
Month 19 · D-Day
The machine takes over the final handshake at the gala.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
450 USD
Average lunch cost per gift
28/week
Hours spent nodding at monologues
0.04 percent
Conversion rate of cocktail chatter
Your severance
A lifetime supply of branded hospital pens.
Discussion
