Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Philosophy PhD jobs? · Latest report #iec7ei2e
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYour infinite depth is just a shallow database query away.
Professional overthinker with a very specific reading list.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating profound insights with zero existential dread.
oof.youAI▸ SYLLOGIST-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
derives absolute truth from broken training data
You spend years deconstructing dense texts to write papers that three people will read and never cite.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the trolley problem is inherently flawed at 3am.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models ingest every philosophy book to output instant summaries.
Month 4
Algorithms provide rapid, objective critiques of your draft arguments.
Month 8
System produces entire coherent theses without needing any sleep.
Month 13
Universities replace human speakers with high-fidelity digital projection lectures.
Month 18 · D-Day
The logic machine concludes your role is logically inconsistent.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.7%
2.8
average readers per paper
4,000+
hours spent questioning reality
0.01%
probability of tenure
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to JSTOR and a lukewarm coffee.
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