Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace PHP Software Engineer jobs? · Latest report #ukihbtzc
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsConverting legacy spaghetti into slightly more modern, deprecatable spaghetti.
Master of variables, arrays, and questionable architectural decisions.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning legacy logic into pure silence.
bzzt.youAI▸ CODESHREDDER V8.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
deletes unused legacy modules automatically
Writes server-side logic in PHP and manages database queries for web applications. Debugs syntax errors endlessly.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only person who knows why that one mysterious function actually works.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart agents scan your repository for recurring logic patterns.
Month 4
Validation models verify your code paths are actually necessary.
Month 8
AI rewrites your most bloated classes into leaner modules.
Month 13
Continuous delivery systems remove the need for manual testing.
Month 18 · D-Day
The repository is archived and your credentials are revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
42
Stack traces per day
infinite
Legacy file dependency depth
85%
Time spent refactoring old code
Your severance
One free subscription to a local PHP conference.
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