Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pig Cuddler jobs? · Latest report #ztg59b5y
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthEmotional labour is now a scalable, low-latency commodity for porcine stress relief.
Professional emotional anchor for the barnyard elite.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Haptic warmth that never gets bored.
ow.youAI▸ SWINELUXE COMFORT-UNIT 7▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers automated belly rubs with zero effort
Calming agitated livestock through physical contact and monitoring animal behavior for signs of health or distress.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle difference between a happy grunt and a hungry one.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Cameras track pig agitation levels in real-time.
Month 10
Rubber-skinned arms begin simulating human touch patterns.
Year 2
Internal heaters mimic human body temperature during contact.
Year 2.8
AI learns to ignore aggressive bites and kicks.
Year 4 · D-Day
The barn is fully automated and you are redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
0.02ms
Average Cuddle Latency
42%
Porcine Stress Reduction
2 Hours
Human Boredom Threshold
Your severance
Three sacks of premium hog feed.
Discussion
