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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pistachio Farmer jobs? · Latest report #8yd63wuh
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2031
In 5 yearsYour nut-shaking days are numbered by a smarter, quieter robot.
Dust-covered connoisseur of the world's most annoying nut.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated nut harvesting, now with less dust.
split.youAI▸ NUTHATCH-9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates harvest vibration for maximum yield
You manage irrigation, monitor soil nutrients, and coordinate the mechanical shaking of trees during the short harvest window.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense if a specific tree is stressed just by looking at its leaves.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Drones map every tree to monitor individual growth and water needs.
Month 12
Sensors take over watering decisions to eliminate human error.
Year 2
Vision models identify pest outbreaks before you even walk out.
Year 3
Robot arms shake trees with precise force to minimize damage.
Year 4
AI-managed silos dry nuts to the perfect moisture content.
Year 5 · D-Day
The orchard runs itself and you finally get to retire.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.2%
45
Average trees shaken per hour
12%
Water waste percentage
3 weeks
Harvest window duration
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium birdseed.
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