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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pizza Opener jobs? · Latest report #ti5w26q8
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYour ability to stretch dough is the only thing delaying the inevitable.
Master of flour dust and 8 a.m. oven preheating.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Dough handling without the human drama.
ow.you▸ SLICESYNC DOUGH-MASTER 5000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
perfects the crust tension every single time
You prep dough and organize ingredients for the morning rush. The oven doesn't care about your soul.
The one thing AI can't do
You can judge exactly when the dough is proofed just by the touch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Cameras monitor your dough stretching technique to train the model.
Month 5
Machines handle the heavy lifting of sauce and cheese distribution.
Month 15
Automated arms take over the delicate sliding of pizzas into ovens.
Year 2.2
A centralized dispenser eliminates the need for manual ball scaling.
Year 4 · D-Day
Your oven key card is revoked as the robot takes over.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.4%
12
Dough discs per minute
3
Average burn scars
Low
Morning shift sanity
Your severance
One lifetime supply of expired pepperoni coupons.
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