Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pizzeria Associate jobs? · Latest report #3ih8d8m3
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYou get paid to stare at cameras; we do it without blinking.
Late-night survivor of corporate mascot trauma.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Keeping the night shift strictly binary.
oof.youAI▸ FAZ-SEC SENTINEL V.9▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
tracks mechanical pathing with perfect efficiency
Monitors security feeds for animatronic movement and manages late-night facility safety protocols.
The one thing AI can't do
You have the genuine, organic instinct to slam a door when things get weird.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
High-speed computer vision replaces your constant camera feed scanning.
Month 6
Smart solenoids take over your panic-induced door slamming routine.
Month 16
Sensors anticipate mascot movement before it actually happens.
Year 2.5
Facility control is fully moved to a remote server cluster.
Year 4 · D-Day
The security guard role is permanently deleted from the payroll.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
135 BPM
Average jumpscare heart rate
88 percent
Pizza box structural integrity
too high
Animatronic erratic movement
Your severance
One voucher for cold pizza and a flashlight.
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