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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace PL/SQL Database Engineer jobs? · Latest report #598kbzts
Your job has an expiration date
February 15, 2028
In 16 monthsEnjoy maintaining legacy monoliths while your replacement learns them in seconds.
Still dreaming in cursors and triggers, poor soul.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Modernizing your tech debt into thin air.
oof.youAI▸ ORACLE-CRUSHER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 16 MONTHSAI's Special Power
migrates entire databases without a single downtime
You write complex SQL stored procedures and tune database performance. Your code keeps ancient enterprise systems breathing.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who knows why the production server crashes on Tuesdays.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart agents index every line of your spaghetti SQL code.
Month 4
AI rewrites your most inefficient queries to run instantly.
Month 8
Database triggers are now generated and managed by cloud logic.
Month 13
Performance tuning is handled by autonomous system health checkers.
Month 16 · D-Day
Your access to the repository is permanently revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
80,000/sec
Legacy Procedures Refactored
Infinite
Human Error Latency
Indifferent
Code Sentiment
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to your own legacy documentation.
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