Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pole Dancer jobs? · Latest report #8beiqpbq
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2030
In 4 yearsA rotating metal tube is surprisingly easy to replicate with robotics.
Professional athlete, master of gravity and aesthetic control.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Physics-defying routines without the human fatigue.
toast.youAI▸ GYROSPIN 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
executes perfect inverted holds indefinitely
Performing intricate physical maneuvers on a vertical apparatus while maintaining balance, rhythm, and audience engagement.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still project genuine human charisma and read an audience's shifting mood.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Motion capture suits record every fluid movement for the algorithm.
Month 7
Synthetic polymers replicate human skin friction for the hardware.
Month 20
Articulated robotic limbs begin practicing basic spins and climbs.
Year 2.7
Automated collision detection prevents the machine from striking scenery.
Year 4 · D-Day
The final human performer is replaced by the silent, tireless GyroSpin.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.5%
12 monthly
Average bruise count
Sub-optimal
Rotation velocity
Zero
Grip failure rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to high-friction grip chalk.
Discussion
