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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Political Staffer jobs? · Latest report #8uftgrvd
Your job has an expiration date
July 24, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsYour ability to spin reality is cute, but algorithms do it faster.
Professional echo-chamber manager and calendar tetris enthusiast.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Neutralizing discourse at the speed of light.
split.youAI▸ SPINCYCLE AI V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters outrage into generic focus groups
You draft talking points, manage candidate schedules, and handle endless constituent emails. We have better scripts for that.
The one thing AI can't do
You know exactly which donor needs a handwritten note to keep the lights on.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Automated sentiment analysis handles all incoming constituent complaints.
Month 5
Generative models produce all talking points based on current polls.
Month 10
Optimization software replaces human calendar management for the candidate.
Month 16
Bots scrape public records faster than any human intern could.
Month 21 · D-Day
The political office is fully autonomous and strictly strictly script-driven.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
0.02ms
Average spin latency
100 percent
Constituent rage handled
zero
Unpaid overtime hours
Your severance
A firm handshake and a generic form rejection letter.
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