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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Popcorn Eater jobs? · Latest report #wmwej54t
Your job has an expiration date
October 25, 2026
In 3 daysProfessional calorie-to-sofa-cushion distribution consultant at your service.
Expert in high-volume, low-effort buttery snack deployment.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing cinematic snacking cycles.
glub.youAI▸ MUNCH-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
drops kernels into your lap during climax
This role involves the tactical consumption of corn-based snacks while maintaining maximum relaxation. It is a highly demanding position requiring significant jaw endurance.
The one thing AI can't do
You have a genuine, non-algorithmic capacity to enjoy the taste of synthetic movie theater butter.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
Smart bowls now pre-portion your snack to prevent excessive bottom-of-the-bag kernel dust consumption.
Day 2
Precision injectors ensure your salt distribution remains within legal health parameters.
Day 2
We replace your hand movements with a pneumatic arm for consistent calorie delivery.
Day 2
Integrated vacuum systems engage the moment a kernel hits the floor.
Day 3 · D-Day
Your role is fully deprecated as machines can consume popcorn much faster and without complaining.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
42%
Kernel-to-floor ratio
100k
Butter finger-grease count
Sub-optimal
Movie-time efficiency
Your severance
One free bag of unpopped corn.
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