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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Portfolio Valuation Analyst jobs? · Latest report #5kjqaf63
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsYour complex Excel models are just expensive calculators waiting for a refresh.
Excel whisperer with an unnatural fear of broken VLOOKUPs.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth in every ticker, no bias included.
oof.youAI▸ VALUCALC-X▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates market volatility faster than human thought
You spend days massaging market data and discount rates to justify asset prices. We prefer a faster formula.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to a confused partner why the valuation dropped mid-meeting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our APIs connect directly to market feeds without manual scrubbing.
Month 4
Pattern recognition identifies trends faster than your nested spreadsheets.
Month 8
The system documents every assumption change for the regulators.
Month 12
Generative models write your memos with zero spelling errors.
Month 14 · D-Day
We switch off your access and run the models at scale.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.7%
too many
Spreadsheet cell errors
instant
Market data ingest speed
infinite
Hours spent on pivot tables
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our basic calculator app.
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