Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Postdoc Research Fellow jobs? · Latest report #73gzckmq
Your job has an expiration date
October 23, 2028
In 2 yearsTrading your soul for a journal publication that nobody ever reads.
Professional paper-writer with a severe dependency on caffeine.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating academic breakthroughs while you sleep.
squeeze.you▸ THESISBOT-PRO 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
hallucinates groundbreaking data for your next grant
You spend years running experiments, cleaning messy datasets, and writing endless papers that gather dust in archives.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the data looks weird during a peer review meeting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Scripted routines take over your messy spreadsheet management tasks.
Month 4
AI models write your literature reviews faster than you can read.
Month 10
Smart agents predict and address reviewer comments before submission.
Month 16
Algorithms generate successful funding applications based on trending keywords.
Year 2 · D-Day
The department replaces your entire role with a persistent cloud server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99.2%
40 litres
Coffee consumed per paper
12 percent
Accepted manuscript percentage
9000 units
Grant application rejections
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to peer-reviewed digital archives.
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