Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Postdoctoral Associate jobs? · Latest report #3eqmi8h6
Your job has an expiration date
May 14, 2030
In 3 years, 7 monthsConverting federal grants into dust-covered failed hypotheses since graduation.
Professional breaker of concrete cubes and grant money.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Grants to results without the student debt.
oof.you▸ CEMENTANALYSIS CORE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autonomously logs failed concrete stress tests
Conducting destructive testing on concrete samples and analyzing material deformation data. You build complex mechanical models that inevitably get rejected by peer reviewers.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still argue with the PI about why the load cell is malfunctioning.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 9
Sensors begin auto-uploading stress test results directly to the cloud without your intervention.
Month 9
Robotic dosing units mix cement paste compositions following perfectly repeatable, precision-controlled protocols.
Month 20
High-res cameras identify micro-cracks in test cubes better than your tired, strained eyes ever could.
Year 2.4
Language models generate grant proposals based on your previous successes and current lab metrics.
Year 3.6 · D-Day
An integrated gantry robot handles all specimen loading, testing, and disposal, rendering your post-doc redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.9%
12,000
Samples Crushed Annually
80%
Grant Writing Hours
0.02
Successful Patent Filings
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to peer-reviewed rejection letters.
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