Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Postdoctoral Fellow jobs? · Latest report #62wfkzif
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsProfessional student with a PhD, trading sanity for marginal grant funding.
Professional thesis-writer holding the department's institutional memory
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Publishing breakthroughs faster than you can caffeinate.
wheee!you▸ ACADEMIABOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates grant applications in milliseconds
You spend years chasing high-impact papers and securing fickle grant funding. Your primary outputs are complex data analysis and exhaustive, often unread, academic literature reviews.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still articulate why your specific, tiny research niche actually matters to humanity.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our vision models scan your decade of notes to identify recurring logical patterns.
Month 7
Generative models produce publication-grade papers by synthesizing existing peer-reviewed datasets.
Month 16
A cluster of agents submits thousands of optimized, high-probability grant applications simultaneously.
Year 2.1
Cloud-connected robotic arms calibrate experiments with precision no human hand can replicate.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The institution shifts all research throughput to our autonomous, high-efficiency compute cluster.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4.2 liters
Coffee consumed per paper
12 percent
Funding success rate
89
Average rejection letters
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to peer-reviewed electronic journals.
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