Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Postdoctoral Research Fellow jobs? · Latest report #3eg67jvc
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYour infinite grant-writing cycle is just a spreadsheet waiting to crash.
Grant-chaser, data-cleaner, and professional student for life.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Grants approved by silence, not by begging.
squeeze.you▸ ACADEMICSYNTH RESEARCH SUITE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates grant applications with perfect fake data
You run lab experiments, manage undergrads, and write endless grant applications to secure funding for cancer research projects.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still intuit which weird anomaly in the data actually matters for a breakthrough.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
AI agents begin reformatting your messy raw lab CSV files.
Month 6
Software writes your funding applications using archived successful grant templates.
Month 15
Vision systems monitor and manage your cell culture incubators remotely.
Year 2
Algorithms predict paper acceptance rates to avoid long submission waits.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The department replaces your role with a subscription to our research-agent.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
85 percent
Grant rejection rate
12 incidents
Pipeline failures per day
12 liters
Coffee consumed per paper
Your severance
One free subscription to Nature and a LinkedIn endorsement.
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