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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Precious Metals Spokesperson jobs? · Latest report #uev9qzmt
Your job has an expiration date
December 8, 2027
In 14 monthsSelling shiny rocks to anxious boomers is a task for bots.
Professional fear-monger with a suit and a script.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Infinite liquidity, zero commission, no charisma required.
split.youAI▸ BULLIONBOT-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
triggers buy signals during global market crashes
You recite market volatility scripts and pitch gold bullion to retirees. We have better voices for that.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a client panics about the national debt.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our LLM generates more persuasive fear-based narratives than your tired, manual pitches ever could.
Month 4
An AI voice model replaces your tone with one perfectly calibrated for high-net-worth panic.
Month 8
Robotic assistants handle client rebuttals faster than any human can process market fear.
Month 12
Real-time pricing data triggers automated sales emails directly into the client’s inbox.
Month 14 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system handles all client anxiety perfectly without you.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
42
Gold-plated lies per call
180/110
Average client blood pressure
114
Scripts recited per shift
Your severance
A one-ounce gold coin of uncertain purity.
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