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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Pretzel Baker jobs? · Latest report #a3nwxdcg
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2030
In 4 yearsYour hands are slow and sticky; the machine is fast and clean.
Dough-shaper, flour-counter, and salt-sprinkler.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect knots every single second.
glub.youAI▸ KNEADMASTER 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
twists golden dough into perfect loops
You knead, twist, and bake dough loops daily. You battle flour dust and precise oven timing.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the perfect rise of the dough just by the subtle scent.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart scales calibrate ingredient ratios to the exact gram.
Month 6
High-speed robotic arms twist dough into perfect, uniform shapes.
Month 13
Closed-loop systems dip pretzels in soda solution without human splash.
Year 2.2
Continuous conveyor ovens replace your inconsistent manual timing.
Year 4 · D-Day
The kitchen produces zero flour dust and zero human fatigue.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
4000 units
Twists per hour
0 percent
Flour wasted
100 percent
Human error
Your severance
A lifetime supply of artisanal sea salt.
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