Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Princess Impersonator jobs? · Latest report #8yhq9d9k
Your job has an expiration date
February 9, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsYour tiara is just a placeholder for a much more accurate crown.
Royal guest with a very high tolerance for glitter.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfectly rehearsed fantasy, zero off-script interruptions.
nom.you▸ ROYALTYAUTOMATON V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers flawless scripted royal greetings at scale
You perform scripted character interactions and lead children's activities at private events while wearing elaborate costume regalia.
The one thing AI can't do
You can improvise a graceful exit when a toddler starts crying during the coronation ceremony.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Your improvised lines are recorded and fed into the language model.
Month 4
High-fidelity projection screens replace the need for physical makeup application.
Month 10
Motion capture records your movements to teach the base unit poise.
Month 16
The base unit masters navigating cluttered party spaces without crushing presents.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
The unit arrives to lead the party with perfect, tireless cheer.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
12 weekly
Costume maintenance hours
94 percent
Character consistency score
15 kids
Children per hour
Your severance
A plastic wand and one final photo opportunity.
Discussion
