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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Principal Database Administrator jobs? · Latest report #u8599m8e
Your job has an expiration date
August 28, 2027
In 10 monthsYour indexes are just expensive reminders that humans are slow at logic.
Principal Postgres Admin (trapped in a query loop)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Self-healing queries for a post-human data tier.
help!youAI▸ POSTGRESPILOT AUTONOMIC V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autoscale shards based on real-time traffic
You manage high-traffic PostgreSQL clusters, handle complex query tuning, and ensure ACID compliance for enterprise OLTP systems.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still intuit when a lock contention issue is caused by office politics.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Algorithms will rewrite your indexes faster than you can drink coffee.
Week 9
Machine vision monitors execution plans to block human manual overrides.
Month 4
Robotic clusters patch and sync themselves without human terminal access.
Month 7
Neural nets predict traffic spikes before the C-suite even knows.
Month 10 · D-Day
The final shutdown script deletes your root access privileges permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
Zero ms
Query latency
High
Human error rate
Five nines
Uptime
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our log analysis cloud.
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