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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Associate jobs? · Latest report #dsjdwyva
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour LBO model is just a spreadsheet that nobody actually reads.
Professional Excel wizard and spreadsheet-based dream crusher.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing returns without the expensive mid-level ego.
ow.you▸ CAPITALLY-V3▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates portfolio companies with one click
You spend all night building complex financial models to justify buying companies you will eventually strip for parts. You then obsess over IRR and EBITDA margins while ignoring the humans making the actual products.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a founder with enough charm to close the deal.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Bots pull financial statements directly from public and private databases.
Month 4
Algorithms build your three-statement models faster than you can blink.
Month 8
AI generative tools create your pitch decks from raw data points.
Month 13
Pattern matching identifies the best targets without any emotional bias.
Month 19 · D-Day
The fund runs entirely on automated strategy and execution logic.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
4 hours
Average weekly sleep hours
12 decks
Decks finished per month
98 percent
Time spent in Excel
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a high-end meditation app.
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