Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Consultant jobs? · Latest report #6cnncg44
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou are just a spreadsheet with an expensive haircut and opinions.
Expert at finding value where there is only debt.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior valuation without the lunch bill.
toast.youAI▸ EQUITYBOT NEXUS V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes portfolio returns without sleeping
You build complex financial models and slide decks to justify buying and selling profitable companies for wealthy clients.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the subtle panic in a CEO's eyes during a pitch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
AI scrapers replace your interns for finding financial performance data.
Month 4
Algorithms build your discounted cash flow models in seconds.
Month 9
Generative models produce your slide decks with perfect formatting.
Month 14
Digital twins run thousands of exit scenarios to find value.
Month 19 · D-Day
The client replaces your advisory fee with a software license.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.6%
15 liters
Coffee consumption per week
42
Slides produced per day
94%
Meaningless buzzword density
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our basic market-ticker app.
Discussion
