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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity General Partner jobs? · Latest report #2qbhgxvj
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsYou sell companies to buy bigger companies to sell bigger companies.
Serial acquirer of businesses you never actually visit.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing wealth extraction, one spreadsheet at a time.
bzzt.youAI▸ CAPITAI STRATEGY MATRIX V4.2▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates assets before you finish your lunch
You hunt for undervalued assets, leverage debt, and bully management teams until you reach a profitable exit.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform the specific type of social manipulation required to close a deal.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 7
Algorithms identify undervalued targets faster than any human analyst.
Month 10
Machine vision extracts and analyzes your due diligence documents instantly.
Month 20
AI models generate optimized exit paths based on real-time market data.
Year 2.5
Software autonomously drafts and negotiates contract terms with other bots.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
You realize your board seat is now held by a query.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.8%
too much
Coffee consumed
lethal
LinkedIn buzzword density
infinite
Hours spent on flights
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a private island newsletter.
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