Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Private Equity Intern jobs? · Latest report #33q7wcj7
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsYour Excel shortcuts are cute, but the algorithm is faster.
Professional spreadsheet monkey dreaming of a carry-heavy exit.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated deals, zero coffee runs.
split.youAI▸ CAPTABLE-BOT X9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
formats sixty slides per minute
You build financial models in Excel and scrub data from company PDFs. You exist to format pitch decks.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when the Managing Director is about to explode from pure impatience.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Python scripts take over your tedious PDF data extraction duties.
Week 9
Smart presentation tools generate your slides based on market inputs.
Month 3
AI auditors detect your formula errors in real time.
Month 4
Automated outreach agents replace your low-success cold calls.
Month 6 · D-Day
A single server rack finishes your remaining financial analysis.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
Infinite
Average VLOOKUP speed
Zero
Coffee run efficiency
0.000%
Pitch deck error rate
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a non-competitive market.
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